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Everybody loves a good conspiracy. Was Epstein killed? How did he make his money? Which evil billionaire has the most to lose? Was Epstein even a billionaire? Two days ago, nobody has ever heard of a “hyoid bone.” Now we know: “Only 27% of hangings break the hyoid bone.” Thank you, Dr. Google. Everyone is […]

“This tube you see coming out of me is directly connected to my heart and pumps liquid into it, tricking my heart into thinking it’s OK.” I had asked the cab driver what that machine was. I saw the tube sticking out of his side. “Are you OK?” He looked at me through his mirror […]

I threw out all my belongings. I was living in Airbnbs. I had one carryon bag that had one or two outfits and a computer and a toothbrush in it. My rule was, if I bought anything, I had to throw something from the bag out. I lived this way for three years. I would […]

My friend wanted to be a famous artist. But she said, “I can do it in Paris. I feel that will inspire me.” She had unopened paintbrushes in her apartment. Waiting to be packed.  Twenty years later, she’s a computer programmer at an accounting firm in California. Another friend of mine is divorced and thinks […]

“You’re my best friend,” a client of my web agency once told me in 1996. “You’re mine!” I said. But I was lying. I hated him. I hated every client. I was afraid the client would fire me if I wasn’t his friend. I made every decision out of fear. I wish I hadn’t cared […]

I met a girl in an elevator and asked her out on a date. This was between marriages. The first thing she asked me on our date was, “How much are you worth?” I had made and lost millions but nobody knew at that time what I had. I lied. I said, “$1 million.” But […]

Maria had a crush on Mark. But Mark was going out with Jen. And I had a crush on Maria but I thought I was too worthless for her. Mark wanted to be a writer. He read James Joyce and could quote Thomas Pynchon. He had a beard. He wanted to write “The Great American […]