Blog Category:

Imagine a piece of meat. Put some bones underneath it, cover the bones with muscles and nerves and skin. Put on two pairs of eyes and a mouth (but not too big a mouth, those are annoying). Take a huge needle and inject life into it. It’s going to hurt at first. But that’s what […]

I wish I had a brother who I looked up to. I wish my brother and I went to different schools and slowly grew apart over the years and that made us sad. I wish we made a pact to send each other a YouTube video about our lives every week so we can re-learn […]

I’m sorry I lied to you that day I posted on Craigslist that I was psychic. The night before I had vomited all over my room from too much to drink. I had cried to my baby girls on the phone. I was scared. I needed help. Nobody would help. This is the truth really. […]

You were completely insane. Imagine you’re one of the best players in the country. You only read one tiny chess book and you became one of the best. I had to read a 1000 and never reached your level. I’ve played you. It was the scariest most thrilling game. It was like a nuclear war […]

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

My girlfriend was banging on my office door at 12:30 in the morning but I ignored her and didn’t answer until eventually she left, screaming my name. A guy named “Seggev” from Israel and I would play one minute chess all night long on “the world wide web”. I couldn’t stop playing him. I couldn’t […]

I’m going to live to 150. I figured out all the statistics and since I am a certified doctor on Twitter and Facebook I feel qualified to say this. A few weeks ago, I was wearing my lab coat. Someone started asking me about a pain in his shoulder. I told him specifically what he […]