Dear Josie and Mollie (my daughters), Everyone hates you. I mean, I don’t hate you. Most of the time. But teachers hate you. Your future boss hates you (he bribes you to…
Dear Josie and Mollie (my daughters), Everyone hates you. I mean, I don’t hate you. Most of the time. But teachers hate you. Your future boss hates you (he bribes you to work extra hours and then makes a pass at you. Trust me on this one). Your colleagues hate you (if you are demoted, […]
I dropped out of college. I bought a car with the money instead. And then when I saw everyone walking around campus I got jealous, returned the car, cancelled the check, and…
I dropped out of college. I bought a car with the money instead. And then when I saw everyone walking around campus I got jealous, returned the car, cancelled the check, and re-enrolled in college. A day later, I met my first mentor (first of about 10 — and then 100s if I include the […]
A few years before he wrote Freakonomics, Stephen Dubner wanted to follow me around. To shadow me so he can find out how depraved I was. “I’m writing a book about the…
A few years before he wrote Freakonomics, Stephen Dubner wanted to follow me around. To shadow me so he can find out how depraved I was. “I’m writing a book about the Psychology of Money. You’re going to be the first chapter.” He wanted to write about someone who made and lost millions and psychologically […]
I like how NBC thinks it’s got one over on us. You go, NBC! “We’re not going to have any business relationship with Donald Trump anymore! Particularly that trashy Miss Universe contest…
I like how NBC thinks it’s got one over on us. You go, NBC! “We’re not going to have any business relationship with Donald Trump anymore! Particularly that trashy Miss Universe contest he thinks he owns.” Good job, NBC! Yesterday: NBC invests $250 million in Buzzfeed. Today’s Buzzfeed headline: “The Disney princes are total hunks”. […]
I can’t believe how I’ve gotten away with what I’ve gotten away with even though I’m so stupid. I was having a weird argument yesterday with my ex-wife. I was trying to…
I can’t believe how I’ve gotten away with what I’ve gotten away with even though I’m so stupid. I was having a weird argument yesterday with my ex-wife. I was trying to say, “I’m stupid” so she was disagreeing and accusing me of lying. So I kept insisting. “I got bad grades all through high […]
(picture is of me and my favorite hero at that time: Thor) I was sure I was a superhero and nobody knew it. I jumped off my bed, I was wearing a towel…
(picture is of me and my favorite hero at that time: Thor) I was sure I was a superhero and nobody knew it. I jumped off my bed, I was wearing a towel as a cape. To create the setting, I had “Shimmy Shimmy Ko Ko Bop” playing on my record player. I broke my toes […]
Steven Wright, the comedian, helps Louis CK write his TV shows. He’s the ONLY person Louis CK trusts to help him. Here’s a Steven Wright joke, picture him saying it in a…
Steven Wright, the comedian, helps Louis CK write his TV shows. He’s the ONLY person Louis CK trusts to help him. Here’s a Steven Wright joke, picture him saying it in a very droll monotone way: “It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.” Yesterday I read that Steven Wright […]
