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[Note: for privacy issues I’ve slightly rewritten the beginning of this post.] My dad’s first marriage fell apart with him going crazy on the floor of his shit Bronx apartment. His brain fell apart. He threw things, he screamed. I’ve never once seen my dad raise my voice. But crazy can hit the human body […]

  The Foreward to Claudia’s Book I wrote the forward to Claudia’s new book: Foreward, by Me Before I even met Claudia (on our first date) I knew that she was into yoga and that yoga was her life. For me, this was sexy. In my feeble understanding of what “yoga” meant I knew that […]

Dear Burton Silverman, I just googled you to see if you were still alive. I guess in the back of my head there’s always this myth that an artist’s paintings go up in value if they are dead . Do you think that’s true? So other than my sincere wish to see if you, my […]

The rubber sheets wrapped tight around my bed were soaked with pee every morning when I woke up. I was four years old. I wet the bed every day. And I remember it clearly, getting that first bed. My dad carrying it into my room, replacing whatever cage had previously held me. Now I was […]

It was post-Stockpickr, post-my marriage ending, post-me disappearing from thestreet.com and the financial times, post-my worst-selling book coming out (“The Forever Portfolio”) (see the story of that one and how it relates to dating), post the 2008 financial crisis. Post me spending the night at a motel in the middle of nowhere at the insistence […]

I was playing poker in Las Vegas and the two professional players next to me were discussing their “leaks”. “Women are my leaks”, one of them said. Meaning he’d make some money and then spend it on prostitutes. “My wife is back in Japan and I can’t help myself.” [See: The year I did nothing […]

Claudia and I were eating in a restaurant this morning when I realized I didn’t have my wallet. This meant I had lost it. I was wearing the same pants as yesterday (and the day before – I roll that way) and I know it had my wallet in it. Which meant it was gone, […]