Having an inbox with over 200,000 emails in it and this second, 118, 376 unread emails gives me a lot of material. I searched on the phrase “I owe you” to see…
Having an inbox with over 200,000 emails in it and this second, 118, 376 unread emails gives me a lot of material. I searched on the phrase “I owe you” to see who owes me and for what. There were 71 results. 13 were me saying “I owe you” in an email to others. In […]
All I wanted was money. My whole life. When I was 12 I read every book about Howard Hughes. How he had fingernails that were so long they curled around his fingers.…
All I wanted was money. My whole life. When I was 12 I read every book about Howard Hughes. How he had fingernails that were so long they curled around his fingers. He stored his urine and shit in bottles so they could be studied later. He only hired Mormons who would every day measure […]
I was at another dinner and the guy who bought and runs a major chain of yogurt stores in the United States stared straight at me, past about five other people in…
I was at another dinner and the guy who bought and runs a major chain of yogurt stores in the United States stared straight at me, past about five other people in between us and said, his face slightly red, his voice raised, “I’ve done two tours in Vietnam. Nobody should be pontificating about wars […]
It was too much work trying to meet women. My sister met her and said right away, “when are you going to marry this girl?” So like any 18 year old nerdy…
It was too much work trying to meet women. My sister met her and said right away, “when are you going to marry this girl?” So like any 18 year old nerdy guy (except I was 41), I proposed fairly quickly. And right when I had the opportunity, I locked it down. Now its one […]
A few months ago I was playing backgammon with Stephen Dubner when we saw something that was so repulsive it almost made me throw up right on the spot. And I thought…
A few months ago I was playing backgammon with Stephen Dubner when we saw something that was so repulsive it almost made me throw up right on the spot. And I thought Dubner was going to pass out because I’ve seen him do that before in situations that other people might just label “gross” and […]
Yesterday, 10pm, I was asleep and the opening of my bedroom door woke me up – my 9 year old daughter was in a panic. “Something’s wrong with Josie!” Josie is her…
Yesterday, 10pm, I was asleep and the opening of my bedroom door woke me up – my 9 year old daughter was in a panic. “Something’s wrong with Josie!” Josie is her older sister. Like any concerned father I tried to keep my eyes shut, “What?” I murmured. “You have to come down!” she said. […]
“I hope you accidentally drink leukemia at a picnic” “You have the timing of diarrhea in the 9th inning” “That’s an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?” The jokes…
“I hope you accidentally drink leukemia at a picnic” “You have the timing of diarrhea in the 9th inning” “That’s an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?” The jokes are offensive and depraved. The best comedians are truly twisted humans who have a private truth in the center of their black holes […]
