All I wanted was money. My whole life. When I was 12 I read every book about Howard Hughes. How he had fingernails that were so long they curled around his fingers.…
All I wanted was money. My whole life. When I was 12 I read every book about Howard Hughes. How he had fingernails that were so long they curled around his fingers. He stored his urine and shit in bottles so they could be studied later. He only hired Mormons who would every day measure […]
It was too much work trying to meet women. My sister met her and said right away, “when are you going to marry this girl?” So like any 18 year old nerdy…
It was too much work trying to meet women. My sister met her and said right away, “when are you going to marry this girl?” So like any 18 year old nerdy guy (except I was 41), I proposed fairly quickly. And right when I had the opportunity, I locked it down. Now its one […]
Today is 40 years to the day after Louis Armstrong’s death. I saw this photo of him. What the hell is a little kid who used to play trumpet at brothels in…
Today is 40 years to the day after Louis Armstrong’s death. I saw this photo of him. What the hell is a little kid who used to play trumpet at brothels in New Orleans, abandoned by his dad, his mom a prostitute, shoveling coal in his early years, trumpeting in front of the Sphinx in […]
Ylon called me, “You have to come to this party. It’s right around the corner from your apartment! There’s live sex performances in one room and a chess tournament with all the…
Ylon called me, “You have to come to this party. It’s right around the corner from your apartment! There’s live sex performances in one room and a chess tournament with all the top grandmasters in another room.” I thought he was lying to me. I had been asleep. I got some clothes on and went […]
Shlomo died in a plane crash last year over Russia while looking for diamonds. He told me a joke once: two diamond merchants sitting next to each other on a plane. One…
Shlomo died in a plane crash last year over Russia while looking for diamonds. He told me a joke once: two diamond merchants sitting next to each other on a plane. One keeps moving around, he can’t get comfortable, he keep squirming in his seat. The other asks him, whats wrong? The first diamond merchant […]
I’ll tell you a sure way to die. Get in a half million dollar car, go up to 120 miles per hour and weave and turn around a 4 mile racetrack as…
I’ll tell you a sure way to die. Get in a half million dollar car, go up to 120 miles per hour and weave and turn around a 4 mile racetrack as I did in mid-2008. Oh, and start off without telling the person who lent you the car that not only you don’t have […]
It was really horrible what I did to them. Grad school! All my classes paid for plus an entire $1100 stipend a month to live on. Suddenly, for the first time in…
It was really horrible what I did to them. Grad school! All my classes paid for plus an entire $1100 stipend a month to live on. Suddenly, for the first time in my life, I was rich. I was Jimmy Rockefeller. I felt like every worry in life had now shed off me. I was […]
