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  I’m feeling bad about the Neanderthals. But for $30 million I can buy one. Seriously. Since we mapped the Neanderthal genome, for $30 million I can now find a surrogate mother (Claudia Azula Altucher?) and a professor at MIT can, I don’t know, inject a Neanderthal into her womb. Or something like that. Something […]

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I quit college and used the money to buy a car. The car was a used Honda Civic. I drove around for a few hours and then I dropped the car back off at the dealership and cancelled the check and went back to college. Two huge mistakes in one day. One was fun and […]

Ugh, I couldn’t finish. I quit. You ever have that ONE thing you want to finish but… you just… can’t? So I gave up. I did “productive procrastination”. Instead of doing my “A thing”, I did my “B thing”. We always have a B-Z. I watched a vlog by my recent podcast guest Casey Neistat. […]

I tried to read on a beach once. I got the very first Kindle. It didn’t have many books available but what it did, I downloaded and tried to read. But it was uncomfortable and hot and my wife and kids kept going into the ocean so I went back to the hotel room to […]

I forced Claudia to do something she didn’t want to do. She was scared but I still made her do it. She had written a lot of inspirational posts about yoga over the prior year. This was in 2010 or 2011. I forget. I had her print up all of her articles and put them […]

That moment when you realize you’re a little creepy. I’m giving a talk tonight to 150 people in Hoboken. I was going to write a different story about August 18, 1994. In Hoboken. But something happened. I took a walk earlier to prepare my talk and I settled into a cafe. I took out my […]