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My grandparents were disgusted with me when my first, second, and third girlfriends were Catholics. “What do they cook?” my grandmother asked. Cooking being the great differentiator in religion. She even said, “Goulash?” Like it was a curse. Many years later, after a lot of grief, I sat in St. Patrick’s in NYC, praying for […]

The aliens have a mission for you. Six people out of seven billion people were sent from deep space on a mission to Earth. Each of these people contains a part of a hidden message encoded in their DNA. You have twenty four hours to find all six people, reach into their DNA to get […]

I have done all of these ten things and seen the results. I was very unhappy. Before I can give you the rules I must establish my credentials. I have started about 20 businesses and failed at 17 of them. I have failed as a husband, as have many. I hope I don’t fail as […]

I never write about my ex-wife. It’s her life. But I want to write about divorce because the entire thing is a scam. As far as I can tell, the only real legal benefit of marriage is that you can share medical insurance if you have a regular 9-5 job. Everything else (estate planning, kids […]

But I’m done. At least with this arc. I know when I was at my worst moments, I focused on improving four things in my life. Whenever I worried, or woke up anxious, or woke up filled with so much regret and shame, I would just ask myself: are these thoughts contributing to me improving […]

A friend of mine is in jail. Again. I’m going to go visit him. I don’t know the full story yet. I know he’s very upset. At me. Which is unfortunate. In court, when they sentenced him, he called jail “Club Fed” and I wrote about it so they showed the judge the article. The […]

I had to physically force Claudia to go see “Straight Outta Compton”. And there were a lot of sex scenes but I didn’t care. I took my 13 year old and 16 year old daughters. Even in a couples therapy session, Claudia said to the Doctor, “He keeps insisting I see this. I don’t want […]