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“This tube you see coming out of me is directly connected to my heart and pumps liquid into it, tricking my heart into thinking it’s OK.” I had asked the cab driver what that machine was. I saw the tube sticking out of his side. “Are you OK?” He looked at me through his mirror […]

I threw out all my belongings. I was living in Airbnbs. I had one carryon bag that had one or two outfits and a computer and a toothbrush in it. My rule was, if I bought anything, I had to throw something from the bag out. I lived this way for three years. I would […]

My friend wanted to be a famous artist. But she said, “I can do it in Paris. I feel that will inspire me.” She had unopened paintbrushes in her apartment. Waiting to be packed.  Twenty years later, she’s a computer programmer at an accounting firm in California. Another friend of mine is divorced and thinks […]

“You’re my best friend,” a client of my web agency once told me in 1996. “You’re mine!” I said. But I was lying. I hated him. I hated every client. I was afraid the client would fire me if I wasn’t his friend. I made every decision out of fear. I wish I hadn’t cared […]

I met a girl in an elevator and asked her out on a date. This was between marriages. The first thing she asked me on our date was, “How much are you worth?” I had made and lost millions but nobody knew at that time what I had. I lied. I said, “$1 million.” But […]

Maria had a crush on Mark. But Mark was going out with Jen. And I had a crush on Maria but I thought I was too worthless for her. Mark wanted to be a writer. He read James Joyce and could quote Thomas Pynchon. He had a beard. He wanted to write “The Great American […]

1. Got depressed because my dad went broke, lost our home, and went insane. He’d cry all the time, ask me, “What’s wrong with me?” and listen to music until he died. 2. Got depressed because the first 10 girls I asked out didn’t like me and said no. Two actually ran away before I […]