How To Deal With Crappy, Toxic People

Sometimes I sit around having imaginary arguments with people I love/hate.

They did this! And this! WHY??

I loved them. How could they do this!?

I did THIS for them. WHY?

I could do this fun activity for hours. Days even!

I imagine what they say. And what I say back. And what they say. And what I say back.

Ugh. What a waste.



One friend of mine asked me, “Do you ever keep a scoreboard about your friendships?”

What do you mean?

“Like, I did this so he/she should now do this. Or… I did X, Y, and Z so they shouldn’t do A, B, or C!”

Yeah, I do that all the time.

Once you find yourself keeping a scoreboard, that’s a sign that the friendship or business relationship or any relationship is already over.



The most important thing I learned last year about people: never ask “why?”

Some people are toxic. Some are “narcissistic” (an over-used word, but still).

Some people will wrong you. Some friends will stop talking to you for no reason.

I have never ever once found out why. In a hundred different situations over the past many decades.

They just do what they do.

And I have to do what I can do.


The crappy people in my life are never the neighbors down the street who I don’t know.

They are always people who were once close to me.

They are always people who I would once trust with anything, with my life, with my loyalty and faith.

And then… poof.

WHY? W. H. Y.

I’ll never know. And I am going to try really hard this year to never ask.



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