Blog Category: Uncategorized

In the summer after sixth grade I repeatedly wet the bed. They say the human body is 80% water. About 60% of that would come out of my penis every night while I was dreaming. They didn’t have pull-ups back then. Essentially diapers for sixth graders. So I just had rubber sheets that were completely […]

Having an inbox with over 200,000 emails in it and this second, 118, 376 unread emails gives me a lot of material. I searched on the phrase “I owe you” to see who owes me and for what. There were 71 results. 13 were me saying “I owe you” in an email to others. In […]

The last time I visited my congressman (when I was 12 years old), he was both drunk and senile and I couldn’t understand a word he said. His administrative assistant had to translate everything he said. And then he got re-elected four more times before finally dying. Did he really represent my interests? I’m the […]

I felt bad about how I mentioned the other day about Yitz Grossman going “away”. Someone wrote me afterwards and said I got the facts all wrong and that Yitz was one of the most generous, charitable people he knew. Yitz helped me sell my first company back in 1998. He was always very fair […]

Help me out a little. In the comments, tell me your favorite comics. Meanwhile, this is the cover of my COMING SOON comic book.  

I keep doing it to myself. In January I went to India with Claudia to do yoga for a few weeks. I was utterly humiliated in positions I never thought possible while hundreds of people looked on. Well, it happened again. Since we got back from India I’ve been trying to do yoga three or […]

I took a nap in the middle of the day and now I’m being punished for it. Someone just sent me a link to loosecubes.com. I don’t know what it is. I went to the front page and it looked like a map of NYC with a bunch of boxes on it. But my brain […]