Blog Category: Uncategorized

I was first called “Charlie Brown” in 8th grade. I refused to stand up and say the Pledge of Allegiance with the other kids. I didn’t like being forced to do anything. Afterwards some kids came up to me. “Hey Charlie Brown,” one of them said, “you a commie?” “No,” I said, “I just don’t […]

I stole about $15 from a guy on my paper route. I forget the exact amount. He accidentally gave me the wrong bill as a tip. Instead of giving me a $5 he gave me a $20. The details aren’t important. I was a privileged middle class kid living in a suburban neighborhood and I […]

I’m going to be dead honest just to clear the air on this one: I only have a vague idea what Pi does. I could google it right now but that would be cheating. I think pi * the diameter equals the circumference. And there’s some other way you can use pi to get the […]

“james altucher is a f’ing idiot on parade” someone wrote on a message board the other day. I don’t really like parades. But it got me to wonder about the psychology of people who take valuable time out of their day to write things like that. Not just about me but about anyone. In general […]

Let’s be straight out honest: Success is a contagious disease. By the way, it starts out as a sexually transmitted disease. If you want to have sex with pretty girls or pretty boys then you need to at least convince yourself you’re successful in some way. This builds confidence and libido, which leads to more […]

“Does it bother you,” I asked him, “the thought that another guy is now this very moment kissing her or even doing more?” “I don’t really think about it.” Richard said. Richard had an arrangement with his ex-girlfriend. He had gone out with her for five years but now they were broken up. But whenever […]

One time I was lying down on the sidewalk near the movie theater at Union Square. I used to like lying on sidewalks right around five or six PM, when everyone is rushing from one place (work) to another (fun). Letting people walk around me.  You might’ve seen me. It was 1999. It was getting […]