One time I was so lonely I wrote an ad in Craigslist telling people I had psychic powers. The ad was a lie. I wrote, “I had a big headache and when…
One time I was so lonely I wrote an ad in Craigslist telling people I had psychic powers. The ad was a lie. I wrote, “I had a big headache and when I woke up I had psychic powers. I will tell anyone’s future if they just write to me.” Several of the women who […]
“Keep your eyes shut. He’s disgusting,” the woman told her daughter. About me. We were in Burger King and my mom and I were at the next table. I was ten years…
“Keep your eyes shut. He’s disgusting,” the woman told her daughter. About me. We were in Burger King and my mom and I were at the next table. I was ten years old. I was eating a Whopper ™ when I heard the girl’s mother. I got embarrassed. I had about half the whopper in […]
Lynn, our child’s babysitter, was a drug addict and her doctor told her that her brain scan was the same as that of an 80 year old man’s who had multiple strokes.…
Lynn, our child’s babysitter, was a drug addict and her doctor told her that her brain scan was the same as that of an 80 year old man’s who had multiple strokes. Lynn was afraid to tell us she needed to take a few days off from watching Josie so she could go on Oprah […]
You ever have one of those days when it’s 3 in the morning in New York and you find a dark alley to smash a coconut to smithereens because you were told…
You ever have one of those days when it’s 3 in the morning in New York and you find a dark alley to smash a coconut to smithereens because you were told by a psychic it was good luck? And you needed that luck because you were going to lose your house and all of […]
ON WHAT DATE DO YOU MOVE IN FOR THE KISS? Brandon Harnish @bkharnish: how long did you know Claudia before hugging? kissing? Answer: I said to her, “you have teeth like a…
ON WHAT DATE DO YOU MOVE IN FOR THE KISS? Brandon Harnish @bkharnish: how long did you know Claudia before hugging? kissing? Answer: I said to her, “you have teeth like a vampire. Did you know you have vampire fangs?” One tooth on either side were pointy, like she could bite into my neck and […]
YOU’VE BEEN SCAMMED! Ben Delphia @BenDelphia: I just got scammed out of about $10K. What should I do? How to move forward? Answer: “WTF!” That’s what you do. Once. Just say…
YOU’VE BEEN SCAMMED! Ben Delphia @BenDelphia: I just got scammed out of about $10K. What should I do? How to move forward? Answer: “WTF!” That’s what you do. Once. Just say it out loud once. “WHAT THE!” See how it feels like. Notice the feeling so you can notice it later. Say hello to […]
WHY DO YOU NOT CHANGE EVEN IF YOU NEED TO? cassidysummers @cassidysummers: Why, even if you know you need to change, can one not change? Answer: It was time for me to…
WHY DO YOU NOT CHANGE EVEN IF YOU NEED TO? cassidysummers @cassidysummers: Why, even if you know you need to change, can one not change? Answer: It was time for me to pee on my boss’s desk. When I took the job two years earlier I was told, “the only way to get fired is […]
