Today is 40 years to the day after Louis Armstrong’s death. I saw this photo of him. What the hell is a little kid who used to play trumpet at brothels in…
Today is 40 years to the day after Louis Armstrong’s death. I saw this photo of him. What the hell is a little kid who used to play trumpet at brothels in New Orleans, abandoned by his dad, his mom a prostitute, shoveling coal in his early years, trumpeting in front of the Sphinx in […]
I got this email a few months ago: “you must be TOTALLY LOADED to write the kind of stuff you do.” Another person wrote me, “I’m not rich enough to be as…
I got this email a few months ago: “you must be TOTALLY LOADED to write the kind of stuff you do.” Another person wrote me, “I’m not rich enough to be as honest as you are. I’d lose my job and customers.” Finally, after I got several emails like this I asked someone back, “Why […]
Ylon called me, “You have to come to this party. It’s right around the corner from your apartment! There’s live sex performances in one room and a chess tournament with all the…
Ylon called me, “You have to come to this party. It’s right around the corner from your apartment! There’s live sex performances in one room and a chess tournament with all the top grandmasters in another room.” I thought he was lying to me. I had been asleep. I got some clothes on and went […]
The last time I visited my congressman (when I was 12 years old), he was both drunk and senile and I couldn’t understand a word he said. His administrative assistant had to…
The last time I visited my congressman (when I was 12 years old), he was both drunk and senile and I couldn’t understand a word he said. His administrative assistant had to translate everything he said. And then he got re-elected four more times before finally dying. Did he really represent my interests? I’m the […]
Shlomo died in a plane crash last year over Russia while looking for diamonds. He told me a joke once: two diamond merchants sitting next to each other on a plane. One…
Shlomo died in a plane crash last year over Russia while looking for diamonds. He told me a joke once: two diamond merchants sitting next to each other on a plane. One keeps moving around, he can’t get comfortable, he keep squirming in his seat. The other asks him, whats wrong? The first diamond merchant […]
I was on one of my first dates after I had separated from my wife and the girl asked straight out what my net worth was within five minutes of sitting down.…
I was on one of my first dates after I had separated from my wife and the girl asked straight out what my net worth was within five minutes of sitting down. I had met the girl in an elevator the night before. I was walking into a building to visit another woman. I noticed […]
I’ll tell you a sure way to die. Get in a half million dollar car, go up to 120 miles per hour and weave and turn around a 4 mile racetrack as…
I’ll tell you a sure way to die. Get in a half million dollar car, go up to 120 miles per hour and weave and turn around a 4 mile racetrack as I did in mid-2008. Oh, and start off without telling the person who lent you the car that not only you don’t have […]
