I don’t know if you remember me. But I was living across the street from you. All of my clothes had holes. I had no food left in my house. And I…
I don’t know if you remember me. But I was living across the street from you. All of my clothes had holes. I had no food left in my house. And I was a mess. My girlfriend had left me. And I didn’t know how to cook and I had no money. And I had […]
In mid-2002 I was so depressed I simply ran out of ideas. Depression scorches the earth of your brain. I would sit in it at 3 in the morning in the dark.…
In mid-2002 I was so depressed I simply ran out of ideas. Depression scorches the earth of your brain. I would sit in it at 3 in the morning in the dark. Lord of my crumbling kingdom. Every day I went a little more broke and there was nothing I could do about it. Going […]
I’m surprised Claudia Azula Altucher hasn’t divorced me yet. I’m surprised that she decided to date me to begin with. I was a separated, but married, man. I had 2 kids. I…
I’m surprised Claudia Azula Altucher hasn’t divorced me yet. I’m surprised that she decided to date me to begin with. I was a separated, but married, man. I had 2 kids. I had the IRS freezing my assets on a regular basis. The bank was going to take the house my kids lived in. I […]
I met a girl in a bar. Which is the first and only time I had ever done that. She said, “try this”. It was a drink. I tried it. We ordered…
I met a girl in a bar. Which is the first and only time I had ever done that. She said, “try this”. It was a drink. I tried it. We ordered two more. Then two more. Then two more. then two more. I went to the urine-stenched bathroom. I came back. She was kissing […]
I wish someone had told me all of this when I was 15. I would NOT have joined that cult. I wish someone had told me all of these things when I…
I wish someone had told me all of this when I was 15. I would NOT have joined that cult. I wish someone had told me all of these things when I was 30. I would not have read all of those BS self-help books. People have a hard enough time helping their “self”, let […]
I think I love Serena Williams. I mean, she hasn’t returned any of my emails or countless phone calls but I feel there is a connection. I see her on TV and…
I think I love Serena Williams. I mean, she hasn’t returned any of my emails or countless phone calls but I feel there is a connection. I see her on TV and I feel like there’s a spark. Maybe I just want to be her for a day. What if we could do that? Just […]
OK, I admit it. I perjured in a court of law. It was after I ran over a guy. It was in 1985 or 86. I forget. I was 17 or 18.…
OK, I admit it. I perjured in a court of law. It was after I ran over a guy. It was in 1985 or 86. I forget. I was 17 or 18. I remember it was raining. I remember the car spinning. I remember I went through a windshield. Supposedly when you go through a […]
