Blog Category: Impression Technique

One of them is dead. The other disappeared and is probably dead. One, I think, committed suicide but I’m afraid to ask her brother if that’s true. Another went crazy and I had to block him on my Facebook page. And the other I lost track of. They were my best friends growing up. In […]

A friend of mine ran over someone, then drove away from the crime. He was drunk. Later he was arrested. It was on the news, which is how I found out. I asked him what happened and he said he would tell me sometime. I asked him what was going to happen to him. “I’m […]

Oh, I can’t do that. It would be rude. Oh my god, there’s that awkward silence. My parents really want me to at least finish school so I can have “security”. I can’t quit this job right when they are going into the busy season. If I leave my job to start a business I […]

A producer at [well known television show] said to me, “whatever you do – don’t ever ever say ‘I don’t know’. If you say that, we’ll never ask you back.” Then, thrust into a dark room, miked up, camera pointing at me, the producer in my ear, “anddd…GO!” and six of us arguing about the […]

I was sick of it. Another day in suck city, daytrading. It wasn’t so long ago. But now it was forever ago. I always was fooled into thinking I was smart enough to daytrade. But I hated it. And that day I had lost a lot of money. Where had it gone? Why was I […]

What a goddamn shitty title. That’s the sort of BS that is everywhere on the Internet these days. Like, someone gets on a pedestal and teaches people how to be happier and then that same person goes to a motel owned by killers and smoke crack with hookers. Then go to their kids school plays. […]

When I was ten I wanted to be an astronaut, a writer, a spy, a superhero, and an advice columnist. I wrote a play. I did spy on people. But I couldn’t figure out how to be a superhero. I read collected columns of “Dear Abby” (an advice columnist) every day. The only advice I […]