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I’m a little nervous about hitting “publish” on this post because it’s definitely going to go viral in the massive very close-knit billionaire community. You know, the many people who post anonymously on Internet message boards. Claudia and I led a retreat a few weekends ago about yoga and some of the other things I’ve […]

This article might change your life or make you rich. It’s time to save the world. There’s a lot of bad news out there. Rising unemployment, soldiers being replaced in their jobs by drones that kill babies, a new housing crisis that will end all housing crisises, who is the real father of Kim Kardashian’s […]

Tamara gave me a naked picture of herself. “It’s a gift,” she said. Our yoga instructor, a pretty blonde girl, was also in the picture. Naked. To be fair they were surrounded by about thirty other naked people. To this day I don’t know where to hang it up in my house. Tamara wanted to […]

The theme song for my life is “Loser” by Beck. I don’t say this in a self-deprecating way. I’m not hoping for Claudia to come over here and say, “you’re not a loser, honey.” I’m a loser and proud of it. The song changed my life. When the song came  out “Melrose Place” and  “Beverly […]

When I was  twelve years old I had one purpose in life. I wanted to be a Colonel. And not just any colonel. I wanted to be an Honorary Colonel in the Kentucky State Militia. Just like my hero – Colonel Sanders. I had to start off slow – Kentucky was the glamor state to […]

Imaginary letter from my teenage daughter to me: — Dear Dad, I’m sorry I walked in the house the other day, didn’t say “hi”, and just walked into my room and locked the door. I have these hormones that are being triggered that are encouraging me to explore the world and that means I’m feeling […]

You ever have one of those days when it’s 3 in the morning in New York and you find a dark alley to smash a coconut to smithereens because you were told by a psychic it was good luck? And you needed that luck because you were going to lose your house and all of […]