In 2002 I framed a $200 check from a company called thestreet.com. It was the first time I ever got paid for writing anything. When I went to get the frame, the…
In 2002 I framed a $200 check from a company called thestreet.com. It was the first time I ever got paid for writing anything. When I went to get the frame, the guy said, “are you sure you don’t want to cash this?” “No way! Someone actually paid me to write words down on a […]
I’m naked and walking around New York City and its not one of those dreams where you wake up sweating because you’re naked and everyone in your dream street is staring at…
I’m naked and walking around New York City and its not one of those dreams where you wake up sweating because you’re naked and everyone in your dream street is staring at your penis and you can’t cover up. I bought these tailor made pants in India. I’ve been bragging to everyone: guess how much […]
My dad wouldn’t let me watch the TV show “Mr. Ed”. I wasn’t allowed to eat “Captain Crunch” cereal. I had pretty relaxed parents when I was little. I was allowed to…
My dad wouldn’t let me watch the TV show “Mr. Ed”. I wasn’t allowed to eat “Captain Crunch” cereal. I had pretty relaxed parents when I was little. I was allowed to do most things. But “Mr. Ed” was bad. And “Captain Crunch” was bad. “Mr. Ed” was a TV show about a man who […]
“If you drink your urine 7 times then on the seventh time, its toxic,” Martina said at the dinner table. We were eating pasta that I had cooked. “How do they know…
“If you drink your urine 7 times then on the seventh time, its toxic,” Martina said at the dinner table. We were eating pasta that I had cooked. “How do they know that?” I said. “I don’t know,” she said, “I just heard that.” We were talking about surviving in the desert and you are […]
She was a little over two feet tall. She was a US citizen. But she didn’t speak English. She would shit in her pants. She couldn’t feed herself. She cried often for no…
She was a little over two feet tall. She was a US citizen. But she didn’t speak English. She would shit in her pants. She couldn’t feed herself. She cried often for no reason. She hit me. She’d get out of the bath and there was no need for clothes. Just a black mess of wet […]
Boy, that guy really screwed up. Can anyone name the person in this famous photograph? Or the year? Or the cause he was dying for (it wasn’t Vietnam, which was my…
Boy, that guy really screwed up. Can anyone name the person in this famous photograph? Or the year? Or the cause he was dying for (it wasn’t Vietnam, which was my first guess). 100 years from now will people even remember this photograph? I don’t know who he is. I’m not going to google […]
If I stand in the center of Times Square New York City and said something like “Moses didn’t part the Red Sea” or “Jesus never existed” everyone would just keep walking around…
If I stand in the center of Times Square New York City and said something like “Moses didn’t part the Red Sea” or “Jesus never existed” everyone would just keep walking around me, ignoring what I said, etc. Whatever, they would be thinking, I have things to do, very important things that have to get […]
